I NEED TO TALKThere so much in me that I need to let out. But it seems kinda hard cause it's hard to find someone whom you can open up to and tell everything to. I use to think I've found that right person. But she left and came back. Now I think I shan't tell her so much since she not someone whom had really appreciate me.
So the moral of the story. Take a step back. But now I'm like walking all alone. I feel shitty. I hate myself and I know I'm a stubborn crap that hardly opens up to people. Althou' I crap lots when I'm out. But I find it hard to open up to people. And this really sucks..
I used to think that they know me well.. But I realise they used what I said to them to put me down. This really sucks. That's the reason why I restricted this little corner of mine. I feel good now. Knowing that I won't have people whom I don't like to be reading my blog. If there're still of such people. Then so be it. Too bad that I've blocked it and you're still able to see it.
Growing up, I've learn to handle my problems better. But noone is perfect. I've my weak side as well. But right now, all I wanna do is to accomplish my priority.
I've to admit that I'm cold inside. But there's only one that could melt me now. But he's never bothered to know what's happening around me. I just receives hugs and kisses as a return of being a sick cat. SIGH! I feel useless around him, cause I'm always able to be strong in front of others, but jus not him. He make me feel bare naked. He make me feel like I need to start all over again to be a better person.
Is this good? I guess so. At least I can say out loud that I've learn how to treat people after hanging out with him. He made me know that I've to be capable and not jus to look capable. He make me fall in love with reading and so many many more. But he never know all these things were influenced by him.
I appreciates the rides and meetups when I needed him around me. He treats me the right way. Or rather the right way when we wont ................... Kay. You can think whateva. Somethings jus cant be stated out. Hmm... I jus dun know how to put them in words.
But somehow a part of me tells me that it's time to let go of things. It's going the wrong way. And if I don't do anything now, it might evolves to something bad. I don't know whether this intuition is accurate or prolly I'm too sensitive???
Taking things a step at a time.
Hoping things will turn out good.
I'm feeling: sad!
