REFLECTIONS

Time flies and a year had pass again. And it's once again time to do some self-reflections. There's been some good and bad stuffs that happen during this really short year. Tried my best for my papers, but it came out rilly dissappointing. I really thought to myself like what haveI done for the pass months mugging like shit and not getting anything into my tiny little brain. It's seems so easy for others, yet my hard work din pay off. And now, I've yet to see the pic tat the next one is nearing. I'm in deep shit this time. UGH!!!!

My happiest time during this year would the time when I was having my exams. Not that I'm that insane to enjoy mugging and no sleeping. But someone was there to comfort when I need it. I'm really thankful for that. It's like a miracle, cause he knows when to be there and always at the right time. Or prolly when you fancy in someone, anything jus seems to be at the right time and right place. Thinking that things were going right, but I'm sad to say that it jus din work out. Cause it had nvr started. Aint it funny? Sometime life's jus unpredictable. You nvr know what will be coming your way. The more you crave for it to happen, the more you need to work for it. But I know I'll get nowhere with it, so might as well play along and prolly when game's over, we'll move on with our lives.

I've not be a good girl this year, or rather I've no be a good one for my pass 8 years.. Playing truant and behaving like a insane woman. My poor folks have been worrying about me for that long. Or prolly my mum??!!?? This been a bad year for her as well. Been admitted to A&E during exam period. And you'll not believe me, I got in b'cos of clubbing and over-dose of alcohol. FUCK THAT BARTENDER!!! *haha* Saw my mum cried. Like gosh!!! I promised it wont happen, but it happened again not long ago. I hate my lifestyle @ times. But things jus not going right. I know I'm no good at controlling myself and it sucked.

My life is totally ruined by myself. And I seemed to be moving to another worse stage now. I hate to see myself this way. Some jus tell me off, yet others tell me that's part of life. Some accepted the way I'm growing up, some jus cannot stand the way I treated myself, be it metally or physically. I'm responsible to every step I take. And I'm the only one who can solve my problems.

I'm really thankful for the people who are around me during my lowest time as well. People came into my life and sadly some left too. That's life. But I'm gald to say I still have my very closed ones with me. Mav made me very touched last night. Thanks buddy!!!

I jus feel fortunate that I've all the people I love still with me.

I love all my darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's time for a change. Hopefully for the better.
Best wishes to ME and ALL!!
Thanks!

I'm feeling: fresh again

Trapped!!!

I guess I'm trapped and stuck!! I tried to move out. But temptation drew me back and now it seems like I'm officially pinned under a mouse trap. Same logic! I chose to eat the cheese on my own will and I can only anwer and be responsible of my own being.

Many circumstances made me chose the wrong step. But only if you're willing to take that step, everything will be perfect. But you aint taking and I'm wondering why!!! I get pissed at times bout why things have to go this way. Cant it be a lil less complicated. I use to think and tell them that it's a simple issue and I can handle it myself. But I think it's getting out of hands and I'm falling in too deep. I need a helping hand at the same time I know noone is able to help me out.

I cant say I don't wish to tell. If I rilly need to, it's you who should be there listening. Since it only involves 2. I made this sound serious, but it aint to others. And I know that, cause many had been telling me the same way to get myself out of trouble. But it's not that easy when you're in this shoe.

My will power aint strong enough to pull me out. You seemed to care, but have you really thought about it when you asked? I'm dumb and I admit. I've fallen one after another and I haven learn my lesson well. I jus know that things are going to happen and I cant work things out. I tried my best. But it jus din.

Only you can get me out!!!!!
The answer to the question is darn easy, isn't it?
I know the key to all. Just that humans are stubborn and wish to get really hurt to move on, don't they?

That's why beings are sometimes known to be foolish!!




I'm feeling: hollow

Random-ness!!!

I don't know what getting on me. I'm on the verge of exploding.
Prolly the caffine intake each day is causing my brain to mal-function and I'm not thinking straight. I'm just looking forward to enjoy my weekend and look forward to a new stage of life.




I'm feeling: lost!

Dragging on.

Went gym with the buddies and beau-s after class today. Thot I did progressive stuffs., but I realise my body is deteriorating. Had a good run and worked on other parts. But when I was about to take a break, my body starts making me worried. My legs starts to wobble, I can feel that my knee joints is going to give way any minute. And later attacked my body, I started to shake. DARN!! This is worse then not being able to walk after swimming 10 laps. UGH!!

I feel old now. How long will my body be able to hold on?

Waiting for my pizza to arrive. And prolly knock out!!!


I'm feeling: drained!

CONTRADICTING!!!

Maybe I need you.. My mind's confused!! I dunnoe what I want.
Maybe I'm jus jealous bout the people around me.
Time for a change????

Shit!! Why do I feel so lousy bout myself now!?!?


I'm feeling: Down

Uploaded!!!!

Check this out!



I'm feeling : insanity!

Mahjong NIGHT!

Back from Jayne's. Nice dinner with lotsa food. And endless laughter. Althou' I must say there're some wierd times. Anywayz, we lived in our own world and made things work out for ourselves. Isn't that part of life and what we should do. I'll call that adaptations.

But lotsa rilly good foods. Apple brought the best, I must say. I tried my best and that's all I could do people. Don't puke them out. HAHA!! Alvin n Apple brought DON's pie and Sarpino's pizza. These 2 are enough to KILL!!!

YUMMILIOUS!!

Then continued with Mahjong session. I've nvr in my life played it before. Or rather on the table since I've pressed randomly on the com. But it was a good expierence. I got my first victory during the first round. Beginners LUCK! WHOO-PEE!!!

When it get lates, everyone starts to leave. And it became quiet... SOBBY!
But the wine made us drag the night a lil longer. YY shared his collection. Tasted good for the first few sips, but it get too sweet then on.

I think I lost my sweet tooth. I cant take sweet stuffs anymore. UGH! But i still like dark chocolate.. LOVES!!

Many people message and send love to me. Rilly appreciate all these. Thank you people. And some whom had lost contact with. A song that made me recall so much memories and u rilly messaged. HAHA!! What should I say?

It's getting late. And I'm not thinking straight anymore.

But I received something rilly great. And I know it's a punishment for me.. UGH! But I'll learn my lesson well... YEAH!



I'm feeling : loved.

THE DAY IS HERE

BUSY BUSY!!

Finallie got the food prepared...
But I can hardly feel my hands alrdy. GOSH!!! This is really terrible. It's like pasting salon pas on your hands. UGH! Letting it rest under cold running water doesn't seem to help as well.

I'm crying out LOUD!!!


Broght back memories when I heard it on daddy's cab this afternoon.

Bear's here.. Gotta run.
Party @ Jayne's


I'm feeling : EXCITED and IN PAIN

BUDDY's HOME!!!!

After 7 days @ Hanoi, Monkey Lee is finally back.. And lotsa nonsense again. YEAH!!! Saw Heather and rebecca at the airport as well. I think they went over to vietname as a group for the AUG thingy. Heard the other countries were POWER and our ppl are all tok-ed to death, except takewando and silat. It's so nice to have all my buddies back together..

Love you al'!!!!

While waiting for Adrian's flight, Kev drove Eve and I to an animal farm near paya lebar air base... GOSH!! Did I just type animal??!!?? *grin* And it's all DOGS!! I LOVE DOGS. I rilly wanna hug them all.. But I changed my mind when I reached there. My heartaches when I saw all those lil cute puppies all caged up and look unhealthy.. They jus got this, "they're ill-treating us, please buy us home and make us yours."..

Saw machi's family members as well. BEAGLE DARLINGS, so so so cute... And the golden retriever, my all time favourite.. I jus wish to hug them all la.

Many of them seemed injured and under this room which cant be entered by the public.. SHUCKS!!! One of the westie simply caught my eye. He jus reacts to my every moves. But he's hurt lah.. DAMN!!! I feel rilly bad.. Just feeling sayang-ing him.

Was taking pic of darling westie when a guy shouted at me.. FARKING HELL, say nicely lah, UNEDUCATED BASTARD... Gave me a fright man..

But was lucky i got a pic of him.



I'm feeling: worried*pls come soon*

Counting Down 2 more days... WHOOPEE!!!

My abs are seriously hurting and it's been 3 days. UGH! I din know the power of an exercise ball can be actually so great. Anyway, I'll continue working hard.

But I realised my hard work are all burnt by these 2 days. Cause I went sakae buffet with Mav and eneida at Marina Sq and Botak Jones with the monkeys and eveleen this evening. So sinful yet so satisfying. Shiokness..

But the food at sakae is rilly disappointing.. Shall not visit them unless I rilly have to. Anyway, it was gr8 to meet up with my mates

HUGS!!


I'm feeling : wierd *when is it coming?*

A Walk To Remember

This is my 5th time watching it. Really love it. And everytime I watch it, it nvr fail to make me tear. And it reminds me of so so many things. Brought back so many memories that had happened to a very close one of mine. I'm so afraid that Max would jus sit beside me and join me for the show. It's so pain to watch with him lah. Anywayz, I jus simply love the plot. Althou' I dun think it would be possible for someone like SHane West to marry a girl in such a short time, but I guess that's he's way of showing his love for mandy moore who acted as a cancer patient.

Would there really be any guy who's willing to do whateva he did? Damn!!! I feel like watching it again, but it seriously made me so emotional.

I believe time heal wounds. But I also believe that this is a walk that he will always remember. Darling baby, you're always near and dear in our hearts and memories!!!

Dee,
It's been 2 years since you left us. And I still can remember how you look and smile. It might be a short relationship btw the 2 of us. But you left so much so much in me. He moved on. Hopefully, he did. We don't know. He seem fine to us, but you know him. Stubborn Ox, we can nvr know what's rilly in his mind. But you'll bless him and ur dear ones, right?
Always in our hearts
,Love ya!




I'm feeling: emotional

Feel the special day nearing??

But stop the blardie RAIN please!!!!!!!




I'm feeling : bored!

Stupid GUY!!!

Referring to my brother. I think his mood swings are worse than a girl!!! I almost explode while going grocery shopping with mimee. He's jus a pain in the ass. And he seriously need physcological help!!!!


I'm feeling: Pissed!!! *on the verge of exploding*

Anger Management Part II

Something rilly irritating!!!

Read something rilly touching on Janice's blog. Erm.. Okay. I don't know this person. But read her blog thru' Chuwen's bloggie. She's the wife of Andrew Fang. This guy used to be Singapore's National Bowler. And I told my brother that he's real good looking when I was in secondary sch. Anyway, had been reading her blog for a while and I rilly respect and admire her passion towards her life. To me, she lives life to the fullest and being with someone whom shares the same passion with. I jus think she's the most fortunate person in the world. How I wish my life could be like her, But I guess somethings we have to initiate before it happens.

Jordan's BACK!!!! And I'm going to have my movie marathon so so soon.. And going to more sashimi buffet!!!! I can wait...

Counting down to X'mas : 7 days

I'm feeling: Blessed

CAFE DEL MAR



Aint this place COOL!!!
I'm heading down soon.

Counting Down 7 days!!!





I cant wait for X'mas eve to come. I'm so looking forward this year. Gathering with all my love ones. Hmm.. Not tat it's with my mimee or max. But with the people whom I've spent my pass 7 or 8 years with. My darling babes.. WHOO~!!!! I've got their prezzie al' ready. 24th please come soon. I want my to drown myself in those sweet wines and good food.

Hmm. Actually, I'm rilly looking forward to having log cake, provided tat bear received my msg yesterday. YEAH!!

This year, I'm have a quiet celebration. But I'm contented!! Aint it lovely!!!!

And MAX still haven buy me any presents!!! UGH!!! U wont get urs either...



I Feel: LOVED!!!

Pigging time...

I'm been slacking so much and not finding time for my routine. GOSH! Everything is coming back. I feel so guilty now. Had so much of sinful stuffs since the day I met a very LOUSY GUY! Nothing more bout the guy is going to be written here.. But I seriously feel that he mistreat me. Anywayz, I had pizza yst. The latest one they had for x'mas season. It look so good on the ad. , but it's such a disappointment. UGH!

I'm so so pigging now. Hai~!! I feel so wierd yst when my buddy's not around. But I'm feeling normal today le. Is this what people say life have to go on?

A friend of mine broke up with her BF yst. And she seems to let go of stuffs easily.. But another babe since to be stuck at the same spot when her problem is much more complicated. I simply don't understand relationship at some point of view. I have no right to tell her what to do as well. I might as well tell myself what to do instead.

I rilly miss my MATAT alrdy. But time jus don't allow me to do so. Maybe god's doing his job and leading me back to the right path. May the power be with me.





Feeling: LAZY! I feel like pig now.

We're Lonely Without You!!!!

Hmm... It's been like barely a day and all the buddies are missing MR LEE alrdy!!! UGH!!! Buddy come back soon. Come to realise we cant live w/o him. Everyone will cherish him more when he comes back. Probably with gifts as well. Anyway, it seems like everyone is connected to him and frankly speaking, I was kind worried when reality kits when I realised that he's leaving yst. Thinking to myself. It's kinda lonely without him. And this is going to last for a week. Noone's gonna take nonsense to me and make me feel like a fool. And noone's going to hear my cries and whine. GOSH!!!

POH missed Lee so much that he send a message during coprate finance class this afternoon, hoping that our buddy will reply. But no response from that YA-YA boyee. Must be having fun before all the training starts...

It's so wierd lah.. Now LEOW, POH and WU are missing that idiotic LEE...
UGH!!! Are you rilly that power, Mr Mutant???

COME BACK SOON!!!!

Suddenly I think of you!!!! Where are you?
GOSH!

Weather has been so so bad lately!! Gosh! Went to trim my eyebrows after class this aftnoon. And I thot I could cover my ugly, red and swollen flesh that had been badly treated from that roll of tread with my shades. But the stupid weather didn't make that happen. It would be so dumb of me to wear my sunnies under those dark clouds.

Anywayz, headed town alone to get the remaining prezzies for my darling BABES!! Be thankful.. The presents I got for u girls rilly gave me headaches.. *LMAO* Actually, it aint anything gr8. But hope u girls like it.

And yeah! Town rilly sucks... I cannot believe how I shopped ard for 3 or 4 hours alone. It's HELL!!!! Suppose to meet jayne, but am rilly tired and drain after a morning of maths class.

Nothing interesting caught my eyes today. But my ears are definitely in well treatment when I went to 'That CD Shop' at pacific plaza.. Gosh!! Now I not only want 'Cafe de Mar' CD. I want so many many more CD. Hotel Costes is rilly good as well. And I didn't know bars are rilly making lotsa money with their compilations. Buddah Bar had their own as well as Hed Kandi. But frankly speaking, they have rilly good collections in them.. And I found another good collection as well... Alta Roma Moda III !!!!! I'm so tempted to buy them all. UGH!!!

But I got my own restrictions... WTH!!!

Anywayz, my buddy is going to vietnam for some volleyball friendly match tmr... DAMN! This lucky dude can escape a week of school. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO LEND HIM MY NOTES!!! READ UR TEXTBOOK!!! *smug*

Class tmr is a dread. Cause A & X wont be around. And I'm all by myself.
I need to prepare scotch tape and toothpicks.

May the power be with me!!!!











ENJOY THE ABOVE!!!

X'mas is coming.
Feeling: Excited!!

I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need
And I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking way above the fireplace
Santa Clause won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day
And I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Oh baby all I want for Christmas is you, you baby!!!!













Feel: I'm craving for some loving!!!

Met someone rilly LOUSY today... UGH!
It's jus make me know that you're still the best!!! GOSH!! It simply make me harder to move on!!! NO!!! *grins*
The call left me smiling from ear to ear!!!

MELTS!

I can see the different stage in life...
And in life, we meet different people at different stage.
It depends on the people you hang around with,
And the environment that you are at...

Where am I now?


Feeling : Confused

Check out the new CD by " Cafe De Mar "
Super soothing... LOVE IT!!!
OEI MAX!!!! YOU BETTER GET IT FOR ME... OR I'LL START HUANTING YOU!

Thing jus aint getting better for me... Stuffs jus bothers me a lil'..

But I feel good after a long talk.

Thanks buddy, you always make things looks so simple. How I wish I can think the way you do.

But still, ubberly fortunate to have you hear my whines early in the morning. But poor guy had only 3 hours of slp... Remembering that the company to NTU, this doesn't considered much. So be thankful and I feeling thankful at the same time...

Like what I said last night, something come in a package, I'll have to forgo them in a whole. We cant jus split them up and make it look destroy. And I know my stand, jus that things just hit me without my knowing and I might trip a little..

I enjoy my tuesday routine so much now and I'm so looking forward everytime the day's nearing. You people jus put a smile on my face. But there're past that I've to forget when looking into you al'... But things happen for a reason and I can say that we're good and people might start all their nonsense, but as long as I'm happy, thou shall not bother bout all and I know you guys cant be bothered with that all...

Like my elder brother, which I seriously think that I talk to you guys more than I do to my brother.. HONOURED??? Please be.... Hopefully our contract last longer than we first set it. Or rather I set it... :)

Peace out!!

Feeling: BLESSED!

It's so disappointing.. I cant connect my fone to the blardie computer!!
UGH!!!
X'mas is near now... I need to do shopping soon... Prezzies!

I received my early X'mas prezzie this year.. But I've to pay half of it thou'... [hahaha] Anyway, I traded my lousy motorola V3 since it's like giving me so much problems and I'm sick of heading down to Plaza Singapura to fix it... UGH!!!!!!

Feeling super shiok now. Since I got a new phone... WHEE~!!!!

Bonaventure... Find this name cheem right? He a guy who's got lotsa depth... Cause I cantunderstand a farking thing he says. Althou' I know I wont join in the chaos that heavy now. But he's rilly cornering me now. Even if I self-study I cant get what he wanna teach. This is real bad. And I seriously need HELP!

Please ppl... Send me some love and hugs!!
Clinging onto the hills now...

Feeling: SHITTY!

Found this clip about some mudfest cycling.. Rilly exciting to me thou... [LMAO] Hmm.. Find myself rilly interested in such stuffs now. But I guess, the first thing I should have is to get a BIKE next train up my stamina and all.. Hopefully one day I'll be able to do these..

ENJOY!!!

ENJOY!

PEOPLE give me a break!!!!!! Stop pushing me to my limits... I cant hold it longer... Stop all your checkings on me... FARKING UNCOMFORTABLE and it's driving me NUTS!!!!!!! Why do i have to report everything and why do I have to let u eye on me everytime... STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!

FINALLY...

Went to watch "The Last Kiss" by Zach Braff, the guy who acted in "Scrubs". Been eyeing on this movie ever since I read it on his blog and watching the trailer off you tube. Rilly great show, but I know it's not everyone type of show. That's why I've my great buddy, Jordan to acc me.. Since both of us are the kinda of ppl who are into the same genre of movie. *feeling thankful*

Anywayz, wouldn't wanna say much about it here. If you wanna know, you gotta catch it yourself. I would say, it's worth the money. Since it'll feel to think about your life and what you've done in the past or currently.

The really cute guy in the show isn't exactly Zach Braff, but Ben Affleck's brother, Casey Affleck. He's really an eye candy..



So Jordan had alrdy given it a 3.09 over 5 rating... I'll give more, cos I really love it... WHOO-PEE!!!! 4.5 over 5! Cos it kinda reflects my life a lil... lolx!

Then we headed to Muramar Hotel for SASHIMI BUFFET. It's the highlight of the day. I've been craving for it since last week when I dine at sakae with Jayne. And it seriously SUCKS!!! But today is real good. We get 3 servings of mixed sashimi and lotsa more fabulous good food. Thanks for Jordan's company and his friend's recommendation... A day well spend!!!



MORE MOVIE SESSION and DEFINITELY MORE OF GOOD FOOD COMING!!!

I feel sorry for me and you *HC*. we seem to be in the same boat right now. Althou' I know urs seems more complicated than mine. And you know no matter I say to you, it of no use. Cause we both know our problem lie within ourselves and it's only we whom can get ourselves out of it... But we know that our minds are not strong enough... How long can we hold on? We can be rational when looking at the other party's problem. But why cant we do it for ourselves? Isn't it funny?

Something silly: I'm waiting at this moment and right at this minute. And I find it hard to believe!

Temptation(s)
We often tell ourselves not to do somethings or say some stuffs. But temptations leads us to doing so. Self-controlling cant seems to be working. My heart is over-powering my MIND!!!

Sometimes I rilly doubt myself and you. Hmm...
Where are we getting to? Deep down what are you thinking?

A song that I've heard some someone else blog. Hope she don't mind I use it here. Love the song and the lyrics. ENJOY!

Fake A Smile - Radford

Time...of your life
can you make it count?
without a sound
there' s noone that makes you feel like u r someone
with your naked lies and your frozen eyes

cuz it’ s too late to say your sorry
it’ s too late to understand
all the times you make me worry

when the night feels like it’ s loaded
well the wasted day
and the trace of decay
and you r somewhere
it sometimes feels like you r nowhere
deaf on a cold freeway
is that your only way?

cuz it’ s too late to say your sorry
it’ s too late to understand
all the times you made me worry
all the times that I tried to fake a smile

have you ever needed someone else
and the feeling never fades
have you ever had it pulled away from you
till there was nothing left to take

cuz it’ s too late to say your sorry
it’ s too late to understand
all the times you made me worry
all the time that I tried to fake a smile

that I tried to fake a smile
just to get by

This is awkard. I'm suppose to introduce myself here. But I guess if you are able to read this page, you are 80% a very close pal of mine. Which also means whatever I've typed here is just bullsh*t. Aint I right? Just continue reading my random-ness then.

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